The best RPG companions to be seduced by this Valentine's Day
The best RPG companions to be seduced by this Valentine's Day
Polygon | News Desk
My favorite part of any RPG is the romanceable companion characters.
Seeing "so-and-so approves" pop up in the corner of the screen is an instant endorphin boost, and I immediately get disappointed when I discover that an RPG doesn't feature romance mechanics (looking at you, Obsidian).
I've romanced a lot of NPCs over the years, but a few of them have taken up permanent residence in my heart -- a testament to the phenomenal writing behind each character (and, where applicable, equally phenomenal voice-acting).
Krobus (Stardew Valley) Krobus is a little shadow guy who lives in the sewers of Pelican Town.
He definitely isn't the most popular romanceable character in ConcernedApe's farming-sim-meets-RPG (that title probably belongs to Abigail or Sebastian).
You can't marry him, you can't kiss him, and you can't have children with him.
Once you've reached 10 hearts (achieved by showering him with gifts like Void Mayonnaise and Monster Musk), you can present him with a Void Ghost Pendant: an item that looks nearly identical to the Mermaid's Pendant used to propose to human villagers.
Just like the game's human marriage candidates, Krobus comes with his own little room, which is automatically attached to your house.
Although the relationship is platonic, Krobus functions very similarly to the rest of the game's romance companions.
Just like a human spouse, he'll occasionally present you with little gifts, give you a Stardrop once his affection is maxed out, and make changes to your home's decor.
You can't kiss him, but Krobus is always down for a hug, and although he's unable to have children, he'll happily care for any that you already have.
Krobus is the only companion in the game who offers asexual/aromantic players a chance to live in domestic bliss.
He's also an adorable little spirit-person-thing, and romance or no romance, he's a better roommate than you're likely to find anywhere in real life.
Solas (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Veilguard) No romance companion has ever inflicted as much emotional damage on me as Solas.
Intelligent, curious, and immensely helpful, he stays at the Inquisitor's side through thick and thin.
He's only romanceable if you play as a female elf, and should you pursue him, you find yourself in the midst of one of the slowest slow-burn romances ever.
Part of the reason things move so slowly is because Solas himself is reluctant to get too entangled with the player, though it's unclear why that is.
He paints murals depicting the major choices the player makes throughout the game, flirts shamelessly, and has a frankly unreasonable amount of rizz.
Then it turns out he's secretly an Elven god (a real asshole of a god, too), and things only get more shocking from there.
If you've collected enough evidence to piece things together, you can directly confront Solas about his lies.
But ultimately, no matter what you do, Solas leaves his beloved Inquisitor with a broken heart and a missing arm.
To be fair, the magical Anchor in the Inquisitor's arm would eventually kill them if not removed, so he's kind of doing you a favor there.
But Solas' lies, thirst for power, and total lack of warning that he's about to perform a magical amputation left me with my jaw on the floor during my first playthrough.
Yet I still romance this self-serving, self-pitying, power-hungry asshole every single time I play Inquisition.
Judy (Cyberpunk 2077) Aside from the fact that she's clever and absolutely gorgeous, what really attracted me to Judy was her protectiveness.
She belongs to an all-female gang, and will only date a female V.
She's standoffish at first, which I love -- a lot of RPGs see multiple NPC companions basically throwing themselves at the player-character in quick succession, so Judy's reluctance to commit is a breath of fresh, realistic air.
Despite her initial distrust, there's an instant connection between Judy and V, from the moment V takes a seat in her office for a Braindance tutorial.
Like all the romance companions in Cyberpunk 2077, it's not too hard to win Judy's heart.
Complete her quest, choose dialogue options that indicate you're interested, and eventually, she'll be yours.
But despite the technical ease of winning her over, Judy is surprisingly complex, and feels like a real person.
She sends adorable drunk texts when she gets a little too inebriated.
She's also objectively got the coolest "date" cutscene in the entire game.
Nothing says romance like scuba-diving through the flooded ruins of your childhood home.
Garrus (Mass Effect) I got into the Mass Effect series later than most, finally playing it when Mass Effect Legendary Edition came out in 2021.
I inhaled the first game and quickly moved on to Mass Effect 2, which was when I came to a horrifying realization: I really hated the combat.
I imagine the sudden switch to cover-shooter mechanics wasn't so jarring for players who experienced the games as they were released, with years between each entry.
Combat had changed, my beloved companions from the first game were gone, and this asshole with eyes that are way too blue was ordering me around.
He was holed up in a facility on Omega, trapped in a war of his own making and surrounded by mercenaries who wanted him dead.
The mission to save him from his own stupidity forced me to reckon with the game's combat, which eventually started to grow on me.
And once I had my old friend Garrus back on the Normandy, he started to grow on me, too.
But much more importantly, his devotion to Shepard feels earned.
Shepard rescues Garrus from himself and helps him recalibrate his moral compass, so their bond feels genuine rather than fabricated.
I just try not to think too hard about how kissing him (or anything else) works.
Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3) I've got five different in-progress Baldur's Gate 3 playthroughs.
Every time I start a new game, I tell myself I am not going to romance Astarion, because I've already done that, and the game has so many other wonderful romances to experience.
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Then I get to the scene where he sneaks up to my bedroll and tries to suck my blood, and it is game over.
The first time this happened I accidentally let him drink so much blood I died, because it didn't occur to me that I should probably take advantage of the multiple opportunities the game gave me to tell him to stop.
But Astarion is far more than a pretty face and a sharp pair of fangs.
He's a traumatized, terrified person who masks his fear with bravado, humor, and manipulation.
His story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and Neil Newbon's award-winning performance is so engaging, I'm not surprised so many people want to see him reprise the role in HBO's upcoming Baldur's Gate TV series.
But I might have to hand off the controller to a friend to make that happen, because it's been nearly three years, and I am still physically incapable of resisting the urge to respond to Astarion's shameless, incessant flirting..
